The Non-Dramatical Way to Get a New Phone

OK, so I really believed that if one of us got an iPhone then the other would also have to get one or else the situation would result in DIVORCE. As a testament to our (nearly) seven year relationship, I am happy to report that one party is now the proud owner of a red Blackberry and the other is the proud owner of the coveted iPhone and we are still happily married! Here's how it went down...

After discovering that our cell phone contract was nearly up, we took a Family Trip to the AT&T store this past weekend. The iPhone was not a thought in either of our minds. Our intentions were as follows:

1. 1. Look at multi-media phone options
2. 2. Buy two multi media phones (preferably in red)
3. 3. Leave the store very happy with our new phones
4. 4. Immediately check our emails while walking to the market to get food for dinner

We finally decided on two pretty red Blackberry Curves. We asked Yvonne (the sort of mean sales associate who was helping us) what kind of incentive AT&T would offer to retain us as customers. Bottom line - nothing! Not one red cent more than any other schmo walking in off the street who was willing to sign a two-year contract! As anyone who knows me will confirm, that was clearly unacceptable! (FN1: Tutoring students: please note the proper use of the word 'clearly' in this personal essay. The improper use of 'clearly' would be in ANY of your upcoming final exams!!).

So, I called my mother (the cell phone guru) who directed me to dial 611 from my phone and ask for 'Customer Retention' (who knew that such a department even existed??). I called and spoke with a lovely woman who gave us a lovely credit on our bill and waived all Upgrading Fees as a gesture of appreciation. Now we were talking! We told Mean Yvonne the good news and she stuck her nose up in the air and said, "Really?" At that moment we "really" hoped that she wasn't making any commission off of us!

Mean Yvonne went into the back to get our new red Blackberry Curves and that was when we saw it....the iPhone. Specifically, the refurbished iPhone. It GLIMMERED! It SHIMMERED! It was GORGEOUS! We stood there, mouths agape, jaws ajar, tongues a-wagging. We saw the price: $199. Hm. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Yvonne returned with our red Blackberry Curves. "We changed our minds - we want refurbished iPhones!" She laughed at us! She actually LAUGHED at us! "So does everyone else in Manhattan. There aren't any left." "Are you sure?" "Yes." "Can you check another store?" "We already did earlier for someone else." "Can you please check in the back?" The eyes rolled and some unspoken retort crossed her lips, but she obliged and went to check in the back. We waited. And waited. Was she purposely punishing us???

Mean Yvonne reappeared from the back. At that moment, Mean Yvonne transformed into Yvonne, the Angel. "We were holding one for someone who was supposed to pick it up yesterday, but she never showed up so you can have it."

But I digress...how was this couple spared a divorce? Because MY angel said, "You can have it honey. You want it more than I do." I don't know whether or not that is true, but I do know that I love my man (and my new iPhone!!!)

Update: I now know why I got to keep the iPhone: http://themediadude.blogspot.com/