Don't Be So Dramatical

Kvell - New Flash Site Additions

2011-08-24T13:54:00.002-04:00

2 Fabulous Home Decor Flash Sites:

Home Sav

Joss and Main

Kvell - Flash Sales (Updated)

2011-01-27T15:03:00.004-05:00

Here is an updated list (*ed listings are new):

Babies and Kids

Fashion, Home Decor, Jewelry et al.

Beyond the Rack
Billion Dollar Babes
*Biva
*Decor Insider
Editor's Closet
*Enviius
*Envite
*Exclusively In
*Eziba
The Foundary
Gilt
Hautelook
Ideeli
*Kembrel (comment below with your email address for an invitation and $5 credit)
Modnique
One King's Lane
The Outnet
*Reebonz
*Reverse Reverse
Row Nine
Rue La La
*Secret Sales (UK and Europe only)
Seen On
Swirl by Daily Candy

Electronics

Dvor

Men

*Jack Threads

Travel

Jetsetter

Wine

Cinderella Wine

Kvell - Flash Sales

2011-01-11T20:44:00.006-05:00

And, of course, my daily online obsession is online flash sales. Which are, basically, online sample sales that appear and disappear in a flash (meaning 24-72 hours).

OK, here is my newest most updated list (I have posted some of these sites before):

Babies and Kids

Fashion, Home Decor, Jewelry et al.

Electronics

Dvor

Travel

Jetsetter

Wine

Cinderella Wine

There - all of my secrets are out! Do y'all have any to share??

Kvell - Daily Deals Sites

2011-01-11T19:53:00.003-05:00

So, the daily deal sites are popping up on an almost daily basis. Here is the latest national and NYC rundown:

Babies and Kids

General Merchandise and/or Services

1 Sale a Day
Bloom Spot
Daily News Deal of the Day
Deal Vogue
Eversave
Gaggle of Chicks
Groupon - but you savvy-savvies knew that one already :)
Tada
Woot

Got any more I can add to my SiteJot list???

Be forewarned, friends, you will find lots of great stuff you never knew you needed ;)

Kvell - Delight!

2010-08-30T14:46:00.002-04:00

Check out Delight - my newest obsession. They offer quirky and fun household solutions and accessories.

Most recently, I purchased these Lappers for the kids to eat on (gotta think creatively in a small apartment!).

Everyday they offer a discounted product under the Today's Delight tab. You can also sign up to receive a daily email about the deal. Today, they are once again offering their MYSTERY BOX in $10, $15, $25, $50 and $100 increments. Read more about it below and good luck!!

DELIGHT MYSTERY BOX!!!

Don't cha just loooove surprises??? We do! This is a grab-bag Delight-style y'all. We get to clear space at HQ and you get fabulous surprises! For just $10 $15, $25, $50, or $100, you will get a mystery delivery sent right to your door filled with who knows what! We guarantee that whatever you receive has a retail value of more than the box $ you choose - so you're gonna come out ahead no matter what! Hey - take a walk on the wild side...you may just come away with some seriously Delightful goodies!

Kvell - Daily Deals at Target

2010-08-24T12:44:00.002-04:00

Well, I know that it is passe, but I still rock it old school and say 'Tar-jay'!

Now that I have outed myself, I must hook you all up with the Target Daily Deal. Everyday, Target offers something fabulous at a deeply discounted price and there is always free shipping! Click here to sign up and the Daily Deal will magically appear in your inbox/twitter feed/facebook feed every morning. Enjoy!

Today, for example, a Sonia Kashuk brush set is only $9.99 - great brushes in a super cute eco-friendly carrying case.

Daily Deals. One Day Only. Always Free Shipping

These Deals Expire at Midnight Pacific Time

What's The Deal?...

Get Daily Updates

Brush with Greatness

Get down with your gorgeous selves, girls, cuz this deal's a beauty. These Sonia Kashuk brushes are half off. Seriously. We aren't making it up.

Sonia Kashuk® Out of the Woods 6-pc. Brush Set

$9.99

Save 50% + Free Shipping

$19.99List price

View Details

Checkout must be completed today to receive this item.

Kvell - Diapers on Sale!!

2010-08-12T13:30:00.002-04:00

Amazon has a speical 30% off Subscribe and Save disposable diaper deal.

But wait...there's more!

Parents magazine (both August and Sept issues) and Parenting magazine (August issue) include an orange insert card with a one-time use 20% off coupon for diapers on Amazon. These coupons might be stackable (meaning, you can get 20% + 20% off + 20% off!).

And still there is more...

Visit the Amazon coupons page where there are defnintely Pampers coupons.

So, in sum, here is the steal I just received on Pampers Baby Dry diapers:

156 -Pack of Diapers $40.00
Subscription discount -12.00
20% Parents coupon - 8.00
Amazon coupon - 1.50
Free shipping

TOTAL $18.50!!!!

(Sadly, my free subscription to Parents magazine ended in August so I did not have coupons to stack, but the deal is still a steal!)

Kvell - Pinkberry Happy Hour

2010-08-03T13:09:00.004-04:00

If you havent already done so RUN to Pinkberry to take advantage of this delicious steal! If you have already, go again. Often. Nothing beats cheap eats, especially cheap Pinkberry in the summer :)

(Please note, as always 'Kvell' entries include my fabulous finds. I do not work for these companies, nor do I get paid for passing along the good fortune!)

Kvell - SATC2 Fashion Deals

2010-05-28T14:30:00.002-04:00

Just got the heads up that edressme is offering 30% its Sex and the City 2 inspired styles with the coupon code satc2 (through 6/2). Also try the code free150 for free shipping on orders over $150.

I am obsessed with this 'Carrie' dress (sadly, for my coloring, it only comes in peach!):

Kvell - Secret Discounts

2010-05-25T20:52:00.002-04:00

For us busy moms, online shopping is a necessity. Although it is temping to just google what you are looking for, click on the first site that comes up, and the order your prize - don't forget to search for a secret discount first!

Have you met retailmenot and tjoos yet? Both sites offer coupon codes for thousands of websites, some are user submission while other codes come directly from the merchants. Bookmark them, my friends, and always check for a secret coupon code before you order.

Hope this saves you a small bundle. Leave a comment and let me know.

P.S. Special shout out to Cousin/Uncle Bill who suggested that I make my blog about my personal mommy deals and steals. I love sharing my finds and encourage you to to share your own :)

Kvell - New Sample Sale Sites

2010-05-20T17:00:00.005-04:00

Here are two new ones. Both look pretty good so far. Join and enjoy :)

The Sample Sale

Modnique

Kvetch - Nanny Scam

2010-05-20T17:00:00.004-04:00

I received this disturbing email today. Please contact the name/number below if you have encountered wither of these women.

I am writing this to warn all of you to beware of nanny fraud Katie Milton who we hired recently and stole $3350 from us. She is on all the various nanny internet sites. She is American, claims to be from Michigan and is in her mid-20's. She is 6 feet tall, dark medium length hair, blue/greenish eyes, bad complexion and teeth. She uses a woman by the name of Autumn Korolova as her previous work reference. BOTH of these women are out to scam you. Please be on the look out and if anyone comes in contact with her or has recently please call me at 917-297-1800. The authorities are looking for both of these women. Please feel free to forward this onto other mothers groups to warn other potential families.
Best,
Abbe

Kvetch - The Umbrella Thief

2010-05-18T20:26:00.002-04:00

An open letter:

To the *sshole who pinched my $35 navy blue, golf-size Totes umbrella from the New York Public Library- Webster Branch (York Ave at 78th Street) and forced me and my two babies to walk home in the freezing, pouring rain without cover, caused my Lilah to to yell out in desperation "Hold me! My hands are freezing!" and made my little Jack-ee-poo drenched, I say this:

Seriously??? Who in their right mind steals an umbrella from a children's library?????

Signed,
Rained On My Parade

Kvell - Survey Savvy

2010-05-16T23:43:00.003-04:00

You all know that I love me some online surveys!

As a member of the various programs, you can make a difference by participating in online surveys, focus groups, and other interactive studies. Our household has been a part of some really exciting studies over the past several years. Most recently, we participated in a weeklong project in which we documented our lives for a week on the iFlip sent to us. We also received a very generous incentive check for participating!

One of my favorite survey sites is Survey Savvy. Check it out! I will post more reputable and fun survey sites in the coming weeks. Enjoy and answer away :)

If you are interested in participating and earning some cold, hard cash please click here: Join

Kvell - Thank You Mom Reunion Contest

2010-05-14T16:37:00.005-04:00

Thank You Mom Reunion Contest Details

Proctor & Gamble is kicking off the "Thank You Mom Reunions" contest to reunite Moms and their children for milestone family moments they otherwise might have missed.

“Thank You Mom Reunions” will bring together 105 moms with their children, who are unable to do so on their own. (15 families per month for 10 months)

Consumers are invited to log onto ThankYouMom and enter to win a travel voucher worth $1000 to help cover the cost of a special reunion with their mom or mom figure in their life.

How Someone Can Win a Thank You Mom Reunion:

Entrants must submit a 100 word essay describing why they’d like to be united with their mom.

Consumers vote for their favorite entries.

15 winners will be chosen every month through November.

Winners will also receive a portable digital video camera to capture their reunion and are encouraged to share the video on ThankYouMom.

Blog Post Details

Topic – It can be a tribute to your mom or a mother figure.
Be sure to visit ThankYouMom for more information

Kvell - Starbucks

2010-05-07T17:42:00.002-04:00

Top 3 Reasons I love Starbucks:

3. If you register a gift card, you can start earning benefits immediately.

Welcome Level Rewards:
- Qualify automatically upon registering your gift card
- Free Drink on your birthday
- Free Wi-Fi (up to 2 hours/day)

Green Level Rewards:
- Qualify after 5 drink purchases on your registered gift card
- All Welcome Level Rewards
- Free Beverage Customization (i.e. soy or syrup)
- Free Refills on Brewed Coffee and Tea
- Free Tall Beverage with Whole Bean Purchase

Gold Level Rewards:
- Qualify after 30 drink purchases on your registered gift card
- All Green Level Rewards
- Free Drink after every 15 Drink Purchases
- Personalized Gold Card
- Personalized Offers and Free Drink Coupons

2. It is my "office"

Shout out to the fabulous staff at the 85th and Lex location where I spend countless hours meeting with students or clients.

1. Starbucks: 50% off Frappuccinos Today 3PM

Starting today through 5/16, participating Starbucks are having Happy Hour from 3PM to 5PM. Get your Frappuccino made to your liking: add a shot of espresso, use soy milk, ask them to reduce the calories, its your choice. Only one per customer is allowed and it doesn't stack with any other promotions.

Kvell - Row Nine

2010-04-28T12:00:00.005-04:00

You all know about my obsession with online sample sales (aka "flash sales").

In the last year, several more higher end sample sale websites have entered the game. Most recently, Row Nine.

Self described as an invitation-only private sale where you can save 30-80% off the finest luxury brands. I think you will really like RowNine. Your free membership will get you access to some of the finest luxury brands at great prices.

Here’s your invitation. http://www.rownine.com/invite/HarleyAbrevaya

They offer the gamut of boutiques including Home Decor and Electronics (i.e.Calvin Klein Flatware, Sony Aquos), Jewelry and Timepieces (i.e. Joia De Majorca, Raymond Weil, Bulgari) and Accessories (i.e. Furla, Kate Spade).

For more online sample sale sites, check out:

General (Fashion, Accessories, Jewelry, Home Decor and Electronics)
Rue La La - http://www.ruelala.com/invite/habrevaya
Haute Look - http://www.hautelook.com/invite/HAbrevaya
Gilt Group - http://www.gilt.com/invite/habrevaya
Ivory Trunk - (No direct link. Please contact me with your email address for an invitation.)

Parents and Kids
bTrendie - (No direct link. Please contact me with your email address for an invitation.)
The Mini Social - http://tinyurl.com/yce6hkv
Zulily -

Home Decor and Accessories
One King's Lane - (No direct link. Please contact me with your email address for an invitation.)

There are other out there, but these website have proven to be the most reliable and to offer the best deals!

And, I blogged about a couple of them here:
http://dontbesodramatical.blogspot.com/2008/12/insider-shopping-tip.html
http://dontbesodramatical.blogspot.com/2009/01/insider-shopping-tip-for-parents-2.html

Kvetch - Strollers!

2010-04-25T20:04:00.004-04:00

I can't believe we bought another stroller. Yup, we ordered our third stroller in nearly as many years.

We adore our Stokke. It is cool, easy, stylish, convenient and truly simple. Sadly, it only fits one child, so no longer suffices as an everyday stroller for us. Stokke has not gotten much of a workout over the past year. Sorry, lonely Stokke. We use you when we can. We are always thinking about you.

When Jack came along, so did the Phil and Ted's. At first, every time we used it we just mourned the loss of our darling Stokke. But then, we got used to Phil and his 3-wheels and things went smoothly for awhile. Until the front wheel started to shake. Violently. Daily. We tried contacting the manufacturer directly, but they were basically unresponsive. So instead, I made weekly trips to Planet Kids where they changed the front wheel. By the time we left the store the wheel would start shaking again. I think that Planet Kids just rotated all of the bad wheels from one discontented mom to another trying to placate all of us.

Somehow, we tolerated this madness for almost a year. Until the camel's back broke - the right tire tube popped and was rendered 'stripped.' The bike shop told us that they could order a new wheel from Europe, but it would take weeks and be extremely costly. Hells no! The stroller had already cost us enough money, not to mention headaches. I was done, and so was Phil! Rendered unusable, it currently is boxed and ready to get shipped back to the manufacturer for repair. As soon as they respond to and tell me where the hell to ship it! If it ever gets fixed, we are selling it. If it doesn't get fixed, I may be forced to take legal action. They are messing with the wrong aggrieved mom/attorney! RIP Phil. You had such promise.

For the moment, Stokke is back in action. Unfortunately for Lilah, that means she has to walk everywhere. Unfortunately for us, that means someone has been getting really tired and taking an evening nap. LTB has been in effect for a couple of weeks now. Ah, sleep. We remember you....

So, acting on a tip from a fellow mom we headed to Planet Kids to check out the new City Select stroller. I hate to be a follower, but this new hot must-have seems to do it all. It has two adjustable and reversible seats and touts 16 different sitting possibilities. After trying the floor model, Lilah declared that she wants to face out and wants Jack to face her so they can "talk and play." Sounds like a plan. The stroller is on back order everywhere. We found a website (and coupon code!) which promises delivery on May 10th. Till then the jury is out on the City Select, but the Stokke is in. We just can't quit you Stokke.

Total stroller investment is gliding past $2000. At least we don't pay for gas!

A Very Successful Evening

2009-06-20T10:19:00.002-04:00

If Andrew saw me blogging right now, I'd get in big trouble. My mom is picking us up in less than an hour, neither of my babies is dressed, nor am I. But, I just had to share the great news....

Baby 1 - 2 years, 7 months - slept in her own bed from 10:00PM - 9:45AM (we woke her up!)

Baby 2 - 16 weeks - slept soundly from 11:00PM - 9:30AM

How great is that??????

The Non-Dramatical Way to Give Birth, Part 2

2009-06-05T16:22:00.004-04:00

After a 3 month hiatus, the cloud of the Mommy Brain has mostly lifted and I am happily attempting to blog again (I can hear the applause echoing from your living rooms to mine!). My first birth story was a bit hit (see Archives, May 2008), and a joy to revisit, so I am giving my most recent popping a whirl. Once again, I add the following:

Caution: Detailed (but humorous) account of giving birth follows below. Read at your own risk.

As evidenced in several blogposts below, I had had enough. I was ready for this pregnancy to end, for my little boy to arrive and for our new normal as a fabulous foursome to begin. Shortly after resigning myself to the unpleasantness of a second induction, I contacted my amazing doula, Fabulous Vicky. Our conversation started the same way as every prior one had begun, "Hi! It's Harley. I'm still pregnant..." This time, though, Fabulous Vicky didn't laugh. She said, "Ok, well, we're running out of time. Tonight's the night for castor oil." It was time to pull out the big guns. And by big, I mean gross and slimy. "If you take it tonight, you will have a baby tomorrow. I am pretty sure of it." I was sold. The pitocin/epidural must have been hell for me to agree to sip a cocktail of spicy ginger tea garnished with 2oz of thick, fuzzy castor oil. It was really the only option left. I called Dr. R to get the go ahead to drink the potion. He said, "It's an old wives tale. It won't do anything except keep you on the toilet all night, but go ahead and give it a shot." So, I did.

We gave our parents the heads-up regarding our plan and told them to be on call for the following day. However, Baby Boy had been due 'any day' since January 15th, so this heads-up was met with placating "OK"s and "Great"s.

We had a lovely dinner and evening, then at about 11pm I made the potion. It tasted of spicy ginger tea, but the texture was...unforgettable. After each thick and fuzzy sip, I wiped my tongue with a washcloth. I kept reassuring myself that this short-lived unpleasantness was far more preferable to the evil pitocin, and that inner monologue got me through the hour it took to drink the potion. The deed was done.

We waited. We cleaned the kitchen. We got ready for bed. I knew that I needed to try and get some sleep, especially if labor was imminent, but I was too wired. Andrew convinced me to come to bed and agreed to watch a movie while I tried to fall asleep. I quickly chose our HBO On-Demand movie, the classic Dirty Dancing. Mindless fun. I stuffed myself into too-tight jammies, propped myself up on about six pillows and settled in to watch the flick. I fell asleep shortly after Penny's botched abortion and woke up during the Kellerman's end-of-summer show. I felt funny. Crampy. But I had drunk the potion a few hours earlier, so that was no surprise.

There was no success in the bathroom, but the cramps started to feel more like contractions. I was cautiously optimistic. I called Fabulous Vicky and said, "I think this might be it!" We arranged that I would call her back either way by 5:30am and she planned to head into the city. She reminded me to get some sleep as it would likely be a long day.

Andrew was awake at this point watching Baby and Johnny have the time of their lives. "What should we do now?" he asked. I thought for a second, then another contraction hit. "Watch Dirty Dancing, again." He agreed, but wasn't thrilled. We started the movie from where I fell asleep the first time. By the time Baby and Johnny were doing lifts in the water, I fell asleep. I woke up contraction-free at 5am just as Johnny was taking Baby out of the corner. I called Fabulous Vicky and told her not to waste her time coming in - no baby was being born today in this household! She wasn't convinced, but agreed to stay home and remain on-call. She suggested that I try to jump start my system by taking a shower and having a bite to eat. I did, but to no avail. After eating a vegan grilled cheese, still pregnant, and contraction-free, I put on some mindless TV and crashed on the couch.

I opened my eyes at 8:07am and, for the first time ever feasted my eyes on the Today Show. Apparently, I hadn't been missing much, it was boring, so I closed my eyes again. About 3 minutes later, I realized why I had woken up in the first place- my belly was throbbing. Could I really be in labor? Did the potion really work?? Andrew was getting out of the shower and asked, "Do I have to go to work today?" I responded, "No, honey, I don't think you do." "Really?" "Maybe...Ow!" I ran over to the computer and pulled up the wonderful ContractionMaster website and started tracking the "Ow"s. Scarily, they were lasting about 90 seconds each and were 3 already minutes apart. I still didn't believe I was finally in labor.

I called Dr. R shortly after 9am and, with alarm, was instructed to go to Labor and Delivery immediately. My mom was stuck in traffic, so we called Uncle Brian and begged him to leave work, hop in a cab and come babysit for Lilah until my mom arrived. He agreed. Uncle Brian arrived 20 minutes later and saved the day! I convinced Andrew that we should walk the 10 or so blocks to Lenox Hill. It took awhile because we stopped about every 2 1/2 minutes so that I could breathe through a contraction.

Upon arriving at the hospital, we bumped into Dr. Y (Dr. R's partner). She said that she'd never seen anyone happier to be in labor and let us know that Labor and Delivery was waiting for us. I felt like a star! When we got upstairs four nurses greeted us and whisked us into a labor and delivery suite. They must have heard of my stardom ;) We knew that it was going to be a great day because the suite we were assigned to was the same room where we had Lilah. A good omen.

The nurses were totally different this time than they were at Lilah's birth. No one pressured me to wear a hospital gown or to sign an epidural waiver or even to get an IV put in. Nurse Gloria was assigned to us and she was easy breezy about the imminent arrival of a doula. She was probably just happy to have someone to help shoulder the burden of a crazy, non-medicated mother-to-be!

I changed into my birthin' jammies and was promptly examined by an intern. It was shortly before 11am and I was 5cm dilated and 100% effaced - go me! Grandparents were on the way, Fabulous Vicky was parking her car, and I was feeling OK. Really, it wasn't too bad.

Fabulous Vicky and her magical birthing ball arrived a few minutes later. She set up her iPod with soothing music and heated up her aromatherapy tray with the delicious scent of vanilla. Then, perfectly on cue, the contractions changed. They became painful, really REALLY painful. Fast and furious. The counter-pressure on my back was no longer relaxing. I started to feel like I was losing control and had no idea what to do with myself. Fabulous Vicky suggested taking a shower and I was up for trying anything. "By the time you are done in the shower, you'll be ready to push," she predicted. Andrew and I were skeptical, but hopeful.

I was in the shower for awhile, but really have no idea how long. Fabulous Vicky and Andrew positioned the shower head on my back, neck, hips, side - they tried anything and everything to try and ease the seething pains in my belly. At some point I said to them, "I can't do this anymore. I think I am ready to push." So, we ended the shower and requested that Dr. R come in to check me.

From this point on, my memory is a bit hazy. What I do know is that the following events occurred over the course of only 20 minutes. A very loooooong 20 minutes!

I remember that my mom arrived at the hospital and was excitedly asking at the door, "Can I just pop my head in and say hello?" I yelled out the door, "I don't want to say hello to anyone right now. We are not on vacation, I am having a BABY!" (Sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to snap, but, seriously, "Can I just pop my head in?" Didn't you hear me screaming??).

I remember that Dr. R examined me and I was 7cm dilated. He asked if he could break my water and promised me a baby if he did. I let him. He examined me again and said, "Now you're 9cm. I'm going to wash my hands. You're going to have a baby in about 10 minutes." I liked the sound of that.

I remember that everyone was trying to get me to lay down and push, but I had a better idea. I turned around and tried to climb off the back of the hospital bed. I was getting out of there! I yelled, "I don't want to be pregnant anymore!!!!" Dr. R replied, "You wont be in about a minute. Now turn around, sit down and push!" I was very upset at Dr. R's insensitivity yelling at me like that - couldn't he see I was in pain and just wanted to forget this whole baby thing. I mean, really!

At some point, Andrew escaped the madness and brought my mom inside for the pushing stage. When I saw her and Andrew walk back in, I started to cry. This was really happening. Baby Boy was coming out. And, oh my god, I thought that I felt pushing pain with Lilah but this was truly excruciating! I was seriously about to poop out a watermelon without drugs - what was I thinking??

Moments later, just when I didn't think that I could bear another 10 seconds of squeezing, Dr. R calmly said, "Harley, stop. Look. Your baby is here." I looked down and saw that his tiny head was already out. Dr. R slowly and carefully took his little body out of mine. It felt like this graceful movement was happening in slow motion. Andrew describes it as 'slowing down time.' Instantly, the pain went away. Dr. R placed the baby on my belly, Andrew and I locked eyes and we cried for a minute. Happy tears. "This is Jack everybody. Our son, Jack."

Jack was born at 1:03pm, after a mere five hours. Well, 40 weeks, 3 days and 5 hours, but who's counting?

The Non-Dramatical Way to Give In

2009-03-02T12:43:00.002-05:00

Dear Baby Boy,

OK, fine you win. You can stay in there until modern medicine says 'no more'! You have until Friday, so enjoy it while you can.

So, I give up. No more acupuncture. No more homeopathic stuff. No more begging. No more pleading. No more going to bed every night thinking 'please let me wake up in a pool of fluid or in absolutely agonizing pain.'

I will wait until Friday and get induced. I will brave the evil Pitocin for you like I did for your sister. I will risk the epidural and the possibility of a C-Section. I will do this for you because you are obviously your mother's son and want to do things on your own terms and I understand and respect that.

So, live it up in there kid. It's fine.

xoxo Mommy

The Non-Dramatical Way to Beg Your Unborn Child to Come Out

2009-03-01T00:00:00.001-05:00

My due date has officially arrived. I am still pregnant. Still big as a house. Still waddling. Still having fairly regular painless-yet-annoying contractions. Still getting bigger. Still can't really shave my legs. Still can't see my toes.

I have done many things in a seemingly fruitless attempt to smoke this kid out, including but not limited to: getting several acupuncture treatments, taking Evening Primrose Oil and drinking Red Raspberry Leaf tea daily, successfully begging my doctor to sweep the membranes, losing my plug, forcing Andrew to rub the appropriate acupressure points every night, and getting a pedicure with extra massage (good idea, Jul!). I am still pregnant.

This kid is way too happy in my belly and all that I can think about is: what does this mean for his future? what does this mean for the future of my belly's elasticity?

As Lilah says every night, "Come on out and play toys with me, Baby Boy!" We're waiting for you. We're ready for you. You can come out now, please.....

The Non-Dramatical Way to Share 25 Random Things About Myself

2009-01-30T18:21:00.003-05:00

1. I am a perfectionist to a fault. Many times I just can't get projects started out of fear that they will not be perfect upon completion, this list included...

2. Law school taught me to be a really decent writer. In fact, it actually taught me to appreciate and love writing. However, because of my perfectionist thing, I have a lot of trouble sitting down to start write anything. Andrew says that I do better when I dictate my thoughts (usually to him) and then do heavy edits of the dictation. Anyone in need of a dictator?

3. I am a voracious reader! I love surrounding myself with my many and varied magazine subscriptions and always need to be reading a book and have one on deck. There is nothing like curling up with a good book, finding the time to do so is a bit harder.

4. I am terrible in the kitchen, inept actually, and I really have no desire to learn to be better. That said, I make awesome toast and sandwiches! Lilah's current favorites are humus avocado, vegan grilled cheese, and hazelnut spread with mixed berry jelly. My kid thinks that I am a wonder in the kitchen - how funny is that??

5. I love shopping, but most of all I love a bargain! There is nothing like scoring a $350 Michael Kors purse for $100 (it was a gift, actaully. Thanks, Mom-Mom!) or a $200 diaper bag for $75. I am currently obsessed with online (invitation only) sample sale websites such as Haute Look, Rue La La and The Mini Social. Check out my blog for more on this: DontBeSoDramatical.blogspot.com.

6. My house must be stocked with Viva and many sizes Ziplock bags at all times. Viva is the wonder towel and I use it to clean everything. Ziplock bags are the most useful little things. Nothing makes me happier than a crisper filled with cut fruits and veggies in individual Ziplocks. Lilah and I are sharing a Ziplock bag full of green beans right now - yummy! (Please note that I am not in any way affiliated with Ziplock nor do I get commission for the amount of times it was mentioned in this Note).

7. I hate waking up before 10AM. When I was pregnant with Lilah, everyone offered lovely snips to the effect of 'kiss your late morning sleep goodbye,' but my kid showed 'em all! Lilah, rise before 10AM, practically unheard of! As I write this, the fear ripples through me that Baby Boy will not be quite so cooperative. Uh oh! What have I done???

8. Lilah's lullabies are quite eclectic and mostly consist of show tune showstoppers. A surefire settle down song is 'My Husband Makes Movies.' Time will tell whether my princess and Barney loving toddler is a musical theatre diva in training...

9. My favorite movie is Beaches and I am not afraid to admit it! The movie has the perfect blend of friendship, kitsch, drama and characters sporadically bursting into song. Mock away, people.

10. When I was a little girl, I hated bedtime - shocker, I still hate bedtime! Anyway, back in the day I used to beg my brother to come and sleep in my room with me and I kept him awake for hours chatting about who-knows-what. Thanks J for being the best!

11. I miss spa days. I long for a 2-hour mani/pedi/brow wax at Kim's on 9th Ave, facials from Yana, and my hour long Sam C. massages. I especially miss when the AEA insurance covered those massages and only required a $10 co-pay and tip. Now, if I am lucky, I escape for a mani/pedi/brow wax quarterly and an annual facial and massage. This lack of time for the true spa experience makes me understand the cheesy old commercial tag line 'Calgon, take me away...'

12. I am allergic to just about everything, especially pets. I love cats, but my allergies prevent me from petting and snuggling with them. I really, strongly dislike dogs and am kind of scared of them, actually. When I was 8, my aunt was attacked by her dog and it totally scarred me. The only dogs that I am cool with are little white dogs like Bijons or Malteses. Andrew thinks that is totally weird and wacky and he is probably correct.

14. I really don't like flowers. Perhaps my dislike of flowers is due to my allergies, or perhaps it is due to my clean aesthetic. I enjoy a beautiful garden as much as the next person, but my real issue with flowers is when they come indoors. Flowers look pretty indoors sometimes, if arranged simply and sparsely. I once told my husband that a single red rose is a way to make a romantic gesture without flaring up the sneezes and I meant it. But, to me, a better way to make a romantic gesture is to watch the kid for an evening so that I can run out and get a mani/pedi/brow wax. Aaaah, sheer bliss!

15. My favorite number and lucky number is 11. I was born on 3/11, Andrew was born on 11/19 and Lilah was born on 11/17. I lived on 47th Street (4+7=11) and then on 38th Street for many years (3+8=11). The last digits of my home phone number are ...65 (6+5=11) and my work number are ...5060 (5+6=11). I can go on and on. Perhaps these are just coincidences, but I'm a believer.

16. I love word games, particularly Scrabble, and can play it for hours! My mom got me addicted to Scrabble as a kid and we have had many a Scrabble marathon over the years.

17. Along with loving Scrabble, I love all board games! Pre-parenthood, Andrew and I hosted regular games nights at our apartment and I really miss those evenings. Pre-Andrew, my love of board games almost got me arrested. True story, Shugs and I were visiting Artie and Danny in LA many years ago and decided to have a Taboo! night. We put some party snacks on the table and started to have our fun. About an hour into the game, there was a pounding at the front door, "Open up, police!" We were like, oh my god what happened? Well, WE happened! Apparently our Taboo! playing was a bit too loud and rowdy for the neighbors and they called in a noise complaint about our 'party'. The ironic thing was that we were completely sober!

18. In college, my roommates and I were obsessed with watching re-runs of Quantum Leap which aired nightly on two different channels. One of us even purchased the Quantum Leap cassette tape with the theme song and lots of Scott Bakula singing. So, one day one of my roommates and I (Brian) drove from Binghamton to Manhattan with a friend to see a show ('How to Succeed...') and then we drove back to school that night because we had an early rehearsal ('Dancing at Lughnasa'). On the way back home, we were really tired and popped my copy of our super-cool Quantum Leap cassette tape into the car stereo. Somehow, the tape got stuck in the cassette player and for 3 very long and tired hours we were stuck listening to it. At one point, the roads completely empty, I began to steer the steering wheel to the beat. Suddenly, a police car appeared in my rearview mirror with its lights flashing. Crap! The officers got of the car and shined flashlights through the driver and passenger-side windows. I rolled down my window. "Can I help you, sir?" I asked knowing that I had not been speeding. "Where are you coming from and where are you going to?" "We were in Manhattan seeing a show and now we're headed back to school in Binghamton." "Did you know that you were swerving, Ma'am?" Oh, I'm sorry. We were singing." The officers continued to shine their lights and eye us up and down. Finally, the dude at my window responded "Well, please stop singing and get their safely!" Now you know my two brushes with law enforcement!

19. I had to ask my husband for help because 25 is a lot of random things to write about myself.

20. Andrew says that every time I sneeze (which is quite often due to the aforementioned allergies) I cover my mouth with my hands and then run my fingers through my hair and he thinks that is totally gross. In fact, as I write about it, it sounds totally gross. But, in my defense, I don't run my boogers through my hair after I sneeze, I simply run my fingers through it to fix it after the sheer force of sneezing multiple times messes with the 'do.

21. I love organizing things - rooms, closets, drawers, baskets, binders, the refrigerator, cabinets, etc. To help me achieve organization heaven, I also love office supplies. I especially love pretty office supplies like those you can find at www.SeeJaneWork.com. Andrew mocks me for putting boxes within boxes and bags within bags, but it makes me so happy to not just organize, but perhaps over-organize. He prefers to throw things in a drawer and let them float freely about. That's why we have separate drawers.

22. I really don't enjoy wearing tights. They feel too costume-y to me. All those years of performing and wearing tights, sometimes even wearing three layers of tights for quick changes, soured me to wearing tights in the real world. I vowed never to subject my little girl to the binding effects of nylons. When we attended a winter wedding last December (mazel tov cousins Lisa and Jason!), I was left with no other choice but to put the kid in tights. So, I went to Denny's and bought her the cotton knit tights rather than get her Capezio -like dancing tights. To my surprise, she liked them! In fact, on really cold days we now use them as a second layer on her legs. She calls them her "soft pants." Who knew?

23. Speaking of binding, this Note would not be complete without discussing my IBS. I have debilitating IBS which basically means that I perpetually feeling like I have rocks in my belly. If you ever think that I am full of crap, I am. Literally.

24. I love being a wife and mom, but strongly dislike being pregnant. I secretly hope that the relief of finishing this Note will cause my water to break so that I can finally meet my little boy.

25. I wrote this over the course of two days. That is way to much time to devote to a Note on Facebook and is indicative of both my addiction to the Facebook and my issue with perfectionism.

Update: I finished the Note and I am still pregnant. Darn it!

Insider Shopping Tip for Parents 2

2009-01-27T11:08:00.003-05:00

Here is the link to another great online designer sample sale website which caters to moms and babies called THE MINI SOCIAL. Just like the other sites, this one is invitation only. So, if you are interested here is the link:

1. Go to http://www.theminisocial.com
2. Click on 'Sign Up Now'
3. Fill in your information to register and be sure to include my email address HAbrevaya@aol.com so that your invitation can be verified

Also, you might already know about BABY STEALS www.BabySteals.com but just in case you don't, let me be the first to tell you that it is awesome! Every day they offer a 'steal' of one baby or maternity product at 50-80% off until it sells out, much like Woot. They don't offer a loyalty or rewards program but it is still a fabulous website with great deals!

Enjoy!

Insider Shopping Tip for Parents

2009-01-26T12:55:00.002-05:00

So, everyone who knows me is aware that I love coupons, referral programs, loyalty programs and incentives. If you want my business and want me to be a loyal customer, show me a little lovin' please!

My newest obsession is Diapers.com. Any new customers who enter my referral code (or email address) when placing their first order at Diapers.com will get $10 off their first order and I get a $1 credit every time you order. How generous is that? If you want to take part:

1. Go to http://www.diapers.com
2. Enter referral Code: HAAB6497
3. Start shopping

What is especialy awesome about Diapers.com is that there is free 2-day delivery for orders over $49 (especially helpful for NYC moms!). Also, they take manufacturer's coupons and formula gift checks so long as you mail them in and they are not expired. Here is the link for more info Help Center - Diapers.com.

Enjoy!

Note of the Day 4

2009-01-23T16:56:00.003-05:00

Andrew wants me to blog about being close to giving birth, around 2 cm dilated and under 'house arrest,' but all I want to do is keep the baby in long enough so that his lungs are strong and pop him out. That's all I want to do. I am FAT AND TIRED. Being a mom is awesome but being pregnant is...not.

Answers

2009-01-02T01:22:00.002-05:00

1. "Send in the Clowns" from A Little Night Music (Desiree)
2. "Prologue" from Into the Woods (Jack's Mother)
3. "Sunday in the Park with George" from Sunday in the Park with George (Dot)
4. "The Ballad of Booth" from Assassins (John Wilkes Booth,)
5. "Not Getting Married" from Company (Amy)
6. "A Little Priest" from Sweeney Todd (Mrs. Lovett)
7. "Old Friends" from Merrily We Roll Along (Charley)
8. "That'll Show Him" from A Funny Thing Happened...Forum (Philia)
9. "Could I Leave You?" from Follies (Phyllis)
10. "Everything's Coming Up Roses" from Gypsy (Mama Rose)

#1-9 Music and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim
#10 Music by Jule Styne and Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim

Thanks for playing :)

The Non-Dramatical Response to Brian's Quiz (Easy Version)

2008-12-23T09:35:00.003-05:00

Now, for my genre....What is the name of the song? Which show is it from? Who is/are the composer and lyricist for all 10? Bonus: which character sings the lyric?

1. Don't you love farce? My fault, I fear. I thought that you'd want what I want - sorry, my dear.

2. To wish and wait from day to day will never keep the wolves away.

3. There are worse things than staring at the water as you're posing for a picture being painted by your lover in the middle of the summer on an island in the river on a Sunday.

4. Hunt me down smear my name say I did it for the fame. What I did was kill the man who killed my country.

5. Go! Can't you go? Why is nobody listening? Goodbye! Go and cry at another person's wake.

6. It's fop, finest in the shop. And we have some shepherd's pie peppered with actual shepherd on top.

7. Old friends do tend to become old habits; never knew how much I missed you till now.

8. I shall coo and tenderly stroke his hair, wish that you were there - you'd enjoy it!

9. Could I wave the years away with a quick goodbye? How do you wipe tears away when your eyes are dry?

10. You can do it, all you need is a hand. We can do it, Mama is gonna see to it!

Insider Shopping Tip

2008-12-22T21:14:00.002-05:00

Check out Rue La La! It is an invitation only online sample sale website and the discounts are fantastic! Right now they are offering a $10 credit simply for for signing up. And, if you sign up I get a small incentive, too.

Here's the scoop:
1. Go to www.ruelala.com/gift
2. Enter HAbrevaya@aol.com
3. Shazaam! Designer fabulousness and a $10 incentive

Enjoy, shoppers!

Note of the Day 3

2008-12-09T13:39:00.003-05:00

I worked 10 hours days on Saturday, Sunday and Monday and missed Lilah's bedtime on Monday night. How can I be upset when my baby woke up at midnight calling for "Mommy" and just wanted to snuggle with me and hug me and rub my belly and give me hugs and kisses and call me "best friend"? As a special treat we let her sleep in our bed last night. Sweetest, luckiest girl!

Note of the Day 2

2008-12-05T19:11:00.003-05:00

Dear Lilah-Bear,

I am so happy that you are getting over your cold. Sadly, Mommy and Daddy have sinus infections and can barely lift up their heads. Why must you have so much energy?? Due to our impaired condition, we will allow you to take every toy that you own out of its place and put every single piece of said toys onto the floor until you can no longer see the hardwood. In exchange for this courtesy, all that we ask is that you wait 10-20 minutes before running up to us and saying "Wakey Wakey!" We love you, kid, but please honor our small request. For just one day. That's all we ask.

xoxoxo Mommy

Note of the Day 1

2008-12-03T16:51:00.003-05:00

We lose sight of many things throughtout life. We lose sight of goals, of dreams, of the reason why we walked into Gristedes to begin with. Well, my friends, it has happened. I've lost sight of my feet. I never particularly liked my feet, but now that they are gone I miss them. I miss my funny-looking toes. I miss my skinny ankles, too. Although it is possible that they aren't skinny anymore due to the excesss fluid which pools in your extremities during the third trimester. As I mourn the temporary loss of my little piggies, I will not lose sight of the reason why I am big as a house - my sweet little boy is on his way!

The Non-Dramatical Way to Say Goodbye

2008-10-08T17:58:00.002-04:00

Following is my eulogy for Mammy, a celebration of her life through the eyes of her grandchildren.
___________________________________________________________________________

My mom keeps reminding us that the more you grieve the more you had. The grandkids, we are exceedingly sad. How lucky are we to have had so much for so many years.

We want to share some of our favorite Mammy memories with you in the hopes that you can have a glimpse into what it felt like to be unconditionally loved by a grandmother who was unbelievably kind and had never-ending patience for all of us.

So, here are a few things that Mammy taught us:

1. It is possible to run 24-dry cleaners from your home.

Mammy was possibly the cleanest and neatest person ever. Her home and clothes were always 'just so' and if something fell on the floor she instantly cleaned it up. While she lived with my parents, Mammy's only responsibility was to do laundry - a self-imposed job I might add. And no one did laundry better and faster than Mammy. We're talking washing, drying, folding, ironing - everything! She even offered free pick-up and delivery. All you needed to do was put your clean clothes away. In fact Adam was telling us that even if he came home at 4:30 in the morning and realized that he had no clean shirts for work that day, he could hang a shirt on Mammy's door and by the time he woke up for work at 7:30 the short would be washed, pressed and hanging on his door. Mammy felt that doing laundry was the least she could do while she lived with my parents and she never complained. It is possible to run a 24-dry cleaners from your home.

2. It is also possible to run a 24-hour janitorial service.

OK. this one is a little bit embarrassing. Throughout our childhood, my brother J and I had countless sleep-overs at Mammy and Poppy's house in Rosedale. After dinner, we would play cards and eat premium crackers with butter and drink ginger ale from tiny bottles as a snack. While we were small, the bedtime arrangement was that Poppy slept in his twin bed alone, I shared Mammy's twin bed with her, and J slept on a cot next to Mammy's bed. The bedroom was crowded. After we said goodnight, Mammy would sing us to sleep with her famous Red Riding Hood lullaby. She would sing that song so many times her sweet voice was hoarse by the time we fell asleep.

OK, here comes the embarrassing part...one night when I was 7 or 8 years old I must have forgotten that I was at Mammy and Poppy's house. I got out of bed, and headed to the bathroom except I walked to where the bathroom would have been at my mom's house. I pulled down my pants, sat down and (as I would say to Lilah) "went pee-pees." Unfortunately, I ended up sitting on a chair in the kitchen. Mammy came into the kitchen shortly thereafter and very calmly put me back to bed. When we woke up in the morning, she and Poppy were already laughing about my embarrassing detour and the kitchen was scrubbed and pristine. It is possible to run a 24-hour janitorial service.

3. It is possible to sleep through the loudest snoring known to man.

My Poppy was the loudest snorer - ever. The cacophony of noises that came out of that man's nose at night is unparalleled. You had to hear it to believe it. And our little Jewish saint of a Mammy slept through this every night for almost 55 years. Her grandchildren, however, had a harder time sleeping through all the racket. Candice was telling us about the first night she remembers sleeping in Mammy's twin bed with her. Well, she couldn't sleep because she had never heard anything like this. She and Mammy ended up staying up all night whispering and giggling, but Poppy slept through it all. It is possible to sleep through the loudest snoring known to man.

4. After a 'freak accident' you should go to the movies.

Mammy was a really bad driver. A really bad driver! She would take you anywhere you wanted to go, but she was that person you honked because they drove in the right lane going like 10 miles under the speed limit. She would plow through stop signs and, if someone pointed out that she missed one, she would stop in the middle of the road and say "Oh my god, I don't believe it! I didn't even see a stop sign there."

One day when J and I were kids we were on our way to the Sunrise Mall with Mammy. We made it through the stop-sign part of the trip unscathed, but as we approached the light to turn into the mall Mammy kind of side-swiped the back of a truck. Luckily, the only damage to the car was a broken back window. Mammy called the incident a 'freak accident'. J and I were a little scared after hearing the glass break and J asked Mammy "What are we going to do now?" She hardly hesitated and answered "We should go to the movies." And we did. We left that car in the parking lot of the movies, broken window and all, and had a great afternoon. After a 'freak accident' you should go to the movies.

5. You don't always need to dress the part.

Shortly after Poppy died, Mammy and I went to Arizona to visit Uncle Steve, Candice and Taylor. Mammy was so excited for this trip that she went out shopping and bought some Arizona-looking clothes, but she was a little bit off target. One morning on our trip, we woke up and Mammy was in the kitchen in..this dress. The multi-colored dress looked like Lucille Ball meets Heidi meets Daisy Mae on the farm. Candice and I looked at her and burst out laughing, at which Taylor started laughing too and Mammy joined in shortly thereafter. Through her laughter, Mammy said "I guess it is a little much." I don't think that Mammy ever wore the dress again and I always felt bad the we laughed so hard about it. Years later when I brought it up and apologized for laughing so hard Mammy said "You don't have to apologize, it was a pretty funny dress and we had a great trip, didn't we?" To this day, all Candice or I need to say to each other is "Mammy's dress" and we can giggle for hours. You don't always need to dress the part.

6. It is possible to make six grandkids feel equally loved.

J, Adam & I were lucky enough to live with Mammy at some point during our childhood, but Leeanna, Candice and Taylor were not. Despite the great physical distance between them, we all felt equally as loved by Mammy. Not only did Mammy give Leeanna her first bath, but she also helped to care for her during her first few weeks. The bond forged between them during that time was never broken. Mammy taught all of her grandkids to play her favorite card games (including Rummy and Kings in the Corner) and to expertly shuffle cards with a bridge at the end. We were all professional card players by the age of 10! She taught us all her little songs. I specifically remember the Red Riding Hood Song and Taylor specifically remembers the Fishy Song (which Mammy also sang often to Lilah). She told us each that we were her favorite and signed every card with countless “xxx”s and “ooo”s. It is possible to make six grandkids feel equally loved.

The wonderful thing is that I could go on sharing our Mammy stories with you for hours, probably even longer. And I am sure that you all have your own special memories of Mammy because she was a sweet, sweet lady who captured all of our hearts and just wanted us all to be happy.

We hope that wherever you are, Mammy that you are: peaceful and happy, dancing to Elvis, and have Poppy at your side. We can’t help but smile when we think about you and we will think about you often.

10 Things I Never Thought I'd Say - Part 2

2008-09-08T01:40:00.003-04:00

10. Dora will hold binky in your bed until you go night-night.
9. Please come sit with Mommy in the bathroom and practice going pee-pees.
8. (Once in the bathroom) Did you bring a book?
7. What does the car say? (Beep-Beep) What does the horsey say? (Nay Nay) What does Mommy say? (Hot Hot! - apparently I drink a lot of hot beverages!)
6. Lilah, you have already had three apples today. Why don't we have some cookies?
5. You can't fit anymore babies or penguins in your arms. Can Mommy help you?
4. Lilah, did you make a poopie? (Noooooooooo) Are you being truthful? (Noooooooooo)
3. Look! Its your friend Mr. Penguin! Say hi, Lilah! (passing a poster on pay phone)
2. Mommy will only get you a Pinkberry sample if you put your stroller straps back on.
1. Mommy's undies are not a necklace.

The Non-Dramatical Way to Make an Announcement

2008-08-19T19:32:00.004-04:00

"Baby M" Abrevaya Heller

Due 3.1.09

We're psyched!

xoxo LAHHA

The Non-Dramatical Way to Watch a Baseball Game

2008-08-04T13:21:00.004-04:00

Gone is the most recent heyday of Yankees' Baseball. Only one remins from the infield power quad of Tino Martinez, Chuck Knoblauch, Derek Jeter and Scott Brosius. Bernie Williams and Paul O'Neill no longer jam in the outfield with frequent guests such as the gone-but-not-forgotten Shane Spencer. Power pitchers such as El Duque and David Cone, Lord of the Perfect Game, have hung up their pinstripes. Most sadly, Joe Torre is no longer at the helm as Skip. The late 1990s Yankees were an amazing bunch and put on a great show night after night. We, the fans, came to rely on their consistency and took it for granted when the regular season gave way to the post-season and that the Yankees would face off against some sure-to-lose team at the World Series.

Today, the names and faces have changed. Captain Jeter is now joined by the controversial A-Rod, Jason Giambi and Johnny Damon. Some new stars have begun to emerge such as Hideki Matsui, Joba Chamberlain, Robinson Cano, and Bobby Abreu. Joe Girardi is back in pinstripes, but is no longer the star catcher - he's now their manager! Despite these many changes, the boys just can't seem to play like they used to.

I always have a place in my heart for the boys of summer, but haven't had much time to visit them uptown since Lilah came along. Until yesterday, that is. Yesterday's game against the Angels was one of the most riveting non-post season games played by the Yankees in the last decade. Nearly everything that could possibly happen in a baseball game, but rarely does, happened yesterday including but not limited to:

Sacrifice bunts
Ground rule doubles
Solo homeruns
Grand slam
Double stolen bases, including stealing HOME
Yankee Rookie Nady got 6 RBIs
Major comebacks by both teams
General Excitement!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, I fell in love with Yankees' Baseball all over again! These boys played like they meant it. We laughed, we cried, we cringed, we munched, we cheered, we booed, we had a fabulous afternoon! Perhaps a new heyday is dawning. Can the Girardi Era match the Torre Era? Time will tell. But one thing is for sure, I will be watching!

Special shout out to my dear friend Rich who visits annually to watch his favorite team play and always includes me in his plans. He is a true Louisville Slugger ;)

10 Things I Never Thought I'd Say - Part 1

2008-06-30T21:03:00.005-04:00

10. A crayon is not a hat
9. We only color on paper! We do not color on the front door/the bathroom vanity/the walls
8. You can't go back inside of Mommy's belly
7. CVS is not the park
6. Ba-dee, ba-dee?
5. I'll let you play in the dirt if you promise to let Mommy put you in the stroller after
4. Show Daddy how you body slam Mommy
3. Garbage is not for your mouth
2. Please stop sitting on Mommy's head
1. Let's go see the doggies!

The Non-Dramatical Way to Watch the Americal Idol Finale on Tivo

2008-05-22T00:32:00.003-04:00

Cinematography by Andrew Heller

Laugh Track Courtesy of Harley Abrevaya & Andrew Heller

Special Guest Appearance by Lilah Abrevaya Heller

The Non-Dramatical Way to Give Birth

2008-05-12T23:48:00.008-04:00

Caution: Detailed (but humorous) account of giving birth follows below. Read at your own risk.

On Tuesday, November 14, 2006 at approximately 9:02am I found out that I passed the NYS bar exam. I cried tears of relief and tears of happiness and, for the first time in my entire pregnancy, I relaxed! OK, I thought, come on water you can break now. I waited….and waited…and waited. I called Dr. R, “I passed the bar and my water didn’t break.” “Harley, I told you that only happens in the movies! We’re going ahead with the induction on Thursday night. Get some rest, kid!”

Flash forward to Thursday, November 16, 2006 at 11:04pm. While making final preparations to head to the hospital for my induction (we had a midnight call) I, of course, went into labor. Since it was a stormy night and Dr. R changed his schedule to ensure that he would deliver me, we decided to head to the hospital anyway and proceed with the induction as planned. (It is a good thing we did because more than 35 babies were born that Friday and many women labored in the hallway! Oh. My. God!).

We checked in and were assigned a nurse who was promptly scared away by the fact that I brought my own nightgown and refused to sign an epidural consent form. Our new nurse Ellie was fantastic! She came into the room about a half hour later and announced "So you brought your own nightgown. Great! I delivered all four of my babies at home. Let's do this thing naturally!" Relieved and relaxed, my contractions continued.

Around 2:30am, a resident inserted the Cervidil (causes the cervix to efface) and shortly thereafter my contractions were 3 minutes apart lasting 30-40 seconds each. I slept for about 3 hours. The resident removed the Cervidil at 6AM and said that Dr. R was on his way in to break my water. I thought that maybe I wouldn’t need Pitocin at that point since I was contracting on my own, but Dr. R determined that I was only 60% effaced and 2cm dilated - all those hours of contracting and I was only 2cm dilated! Very tough news to hear. I knew there was no fighting the Pitocin at that point. Dr. R was very gentle with the drug. At its most intense, I was only up to 3ml - a very small dosage. There is some comfort in knowing that my body mostly labored on its own with slight medicinal enhancement.

The Pitocin intensified the contractions to a point where mere words could not describe them! Oh. My. God! They rapidly accelerated to lasting 1 minute each with less then 30 seconds of downtime in between. Despite the IV and monitors I now wore, Nurse Ellie encouraged us (Andrew, V and I) to move around and try various positions. I went on like this for almost 5 hours with the most amazing husband and best friend (V) supporting me and my uncontrollable flatulance. That's right, I said it. I farted the whole damn time! Labor is gross and no one warns you. Giving birth is a disgusting little miracle. You fart, you pee-pee, you go poopies. A calliope of bodily fluids is involved. All right, people, now you know.

Around 11am, Dr. R came by to check on me. I had been in labor for 12 hours, and really felt beat up. Good news - I was in active labor: 5 cm dilated and 80% effaced. Dr. R left me with words of encouragement, "You're doing great, kid! You can do this thing naturally. You're a pro! I'll be back later and you’ll have a kid by dinnertime." He left, I had another contraction, and it hit me DINNERTIME???? It was only 11am! OH. MY. GOD. The tears began. It was too much. Too intense. Too painful. Too many more hours to go. I knew my option and was ready to discuss it. My biggest fear – the epidural…failure.

Andrew and V were fantastic! We previously acknowledged that I might hit a wall at transition (around 8cm) and, if I did, they would encourage me to keep going through it naturally. But here I was not even close to transition, with an estimated 7 hours to go, and I couldn't handle it. They asked me to think about why I was asking for an epidural and exactly what was holding me back. Through my uncontrollable tears, I realized the only thing holding me back was my fear of potential complications stemming from the needle in my spine. That was not a good enough reason to avoid an epidural when I could no longer relax through the contractions. Nurse Ellie assured me that since I was in active labor and not yet at transition the epidural would likely augment the labor, not slow it. I remember the agonizing hour-long decision to get an epidural as the most vivid part of the first stage of labor.

The decision was made and within a half hour the attending anesthesiologist was at my bedside prepping my back. Getting the epidural was strange mix of odd, unchartered, uncomfortable sensations. It was not pleasant, but it was also not painful. The relief was instant. The tears finally ended and I used my breathing to relax through the pressure that now replaced the pain. As my mental state shifted from primal to more socially aware, I permitted my mom and in-laws to say hello and wish me well.

Around 1:30pm, the family decided to take a walk to Starbucks. Things got quiet. Andrew ran to get something to munch on and a coffee. V and I went through the CDs we brought. She and I met years ago while working on a production of A Chorus Line, so playing it seemed an appropriate choice. Andrew, V and I chatted for a bit, then things started to change, inside my body, I mean. I felt....well, like I really had to poop." V, OH. MY. GOD. Get Andrew! Get everyone - this is it!" "Relax, hon, its only 2 o'clock and Dr. R said dinner time." "Well then get Nurse Ellie 'cause something is going on!"

Flash forward about 15 minutes, Dr. R announced, "Well, Kid, you are fully dilated and ready to push. I'll see you in a few minutes." Umm...seriously? It was too early - I got the epidural for nothing! I could have gone 3 hours without it! Oh. My. God! So, the epidural was shut off and Nurse Ellie began to transform the room into a Delivery Suite and suddenly we were in the home stretch. But, crap! Mom and the in-laws are still at Starbucks! So, Andrew called one of them and they hadn't even gotten their drinks yet. Someone stayed behind to get the caffeine while the rest rushed back to the hospital.

Nurse Ellie explained that we would "practice pushing" before Dr. R came back in. Knowing that I was trained as a singer she said, "OK, Harley, now belt out an E." She said it at the perfect moment because "What I Did For Love" was blaring out of the CD player, so singing along was nice (and oddly appropriate). Who knew that the singing techniques I learned so many years ago would push my kid out? After belting out a verse and a chorus, Nurse Ellie asked Andrew if he wanted to see the baby's head. Andrew describes this moment in the following way: "I thought that we were practicing pushing. Then, I looked down and saw the top of her head. I was like...whoa! Wait a minute. We're just supposed to be practicing here!"

Anyway, Mom got back to the hospital in time to watch the pushing. "One" began to emanate from the CD player. A minute or two later, Dr. R came back into the room and said "OK. Let's do this kid! On your next contraction push." She walks into a room and you know she's uncommonly rare, very unique peripatetic, poetic and chic. I pushed for just a couple of minutes and then felt it - the ring of fire. "Fire! Fire! Fire!" I yelled. Oh, strut your stuff! Can't get enough of her. Love her. I'm a son-of-a-gun she is One of a kind. I knew she was close and couldn't wait a minute longer. "Can I push without a contraction?" "You can try." Ooooooooooh! Sigh! Give her your attention. Do I really have to mention? She's the...I pushed and contorted my abs like never before. She's the... A head. She's the...Then a hand. She's the...One. Then a whole, perfect, not at all alien-looking little baby girl. Oh. My. God. The kid has perfect timing. Applause.

Many mothers told me that you forget the birth, that you forget the pain. They are partially correct. A year and a half later, on my second Mothers' Day, I remember the day that Lilah was born as if it were yesterday, but I have forgotten the pain. And its a damn good thing becasue if I remember what it felt like to squeeze a spiked mace out of my lady place I would never contemplate doing it again! Oh. My. God!

Happy Mothers' Day to one and all!

The Non-Dramatical Way for the Pope to Visit NY

2008-04-18T23:14:00.007-04:00

Can we all pause for a moment to reflect upon the irony of the situation...

The Pope makes a once-in-a-lifetime trip to NYC (it really might be, come on, he's old!). He diplomatically decides to visit a synogague on the Upper East Side on a Friday afternoon (um...shabbas anyone?). It appears that EVERY SINGLE police officer in the NYPD has a post somewhere along the Pope's route. What does this mean for the residents of the Upper East Side? Simple: alternating blocks of desolation and parking-lot-like chaos.

So, how's a nice Jewish girl, her baby and two bags in 80 degree weather headed to Huntington Valley, PA for Passover to get to Penn Station?

Option 1: take a very long and expensive cab ride

Option 2: schlep a feisty little girl and all the bags in the sweaty, stuffy subway

Option 3: walk 50 blocks to Andrew's office

Clearly, I took what was behind curtain #3 and walked to Andrew's office. We picked up Daddy and continued on to Penn Station a little later than expected, but none the worse for wear. We got smoothies for dinner and made the train with seconds to spare.

But really now, the moral of this story: thanks Mr. Pope for seriously inconveniencing and re-routing all of the Jews headed to the 'burbs for Passover. We look forward to seeing you in town again on erev Rosh Hashana!

P.S. Suck it, Brian!

The Non-Dramatical Way to Secretly Get Hitched

2008-04-06T00:47:00.003-04:00

My husband's job is in Branding (products, not cows) and studying toward his MA in Media, Culture and Communication at NYU. Not surprisingly, we have many conversations about new forms of media (i.e. the internet) and how this new media affects society. On more than one occasion, we've chatted about news/tabloid coverage of noteworthy events (in fact, Andrew is writing a paper on this topic write now).

The network and cable news coverage of 9/11 was revolutionary because the world watched the tragedy and its aftermath unfold on live television. At or about that time, the news banner became a fixture across the bottom on the TV screen on news channels such as CNN, FoxNews and even E!. In the last few years, it's become the norm for households to subscribe to cable TV and receive hundreds upon hundreds of channel options. The prevalence of Tivo (one of my favorite things EVER) and DVR ensure that subscribers will never miss an airing their favorite TV show. If by some unexpected calamity someone does miss an airing, they can run to the internet and (likely) watch that episode on the network's website - for free!

Now, if that wasn't all amazing enough to this child of the '70s/'80s, this next thing has just blown my mind...TMZ.com ran a live feed from outside the building of the alleged wedding of Beyonce and Jay Z. It was FASCINATING! I could care less about these celebrities, but something about live feed on a website drew me in. New media has reached a new pinnacle, and, where do we go from here? Has the fingertip access to breaking stories spoiled us? Are new privacy issues triggered? Has the First Amendment been stretched too far? (Tutoring Students, avert your eyes! The girl who hated Con Law is actually thinking about the potential First Amentment ramifications of live news feeds on websites).

Andrew, you are the family expert on new media. Brian, you are the practicing attorney in the family (although I will practice on of these days - I will not let my "I passed the bar, oh my god i am in labor" moment go to waste - but that is a story for another day). What do you guys think? And, finally, I ask TMZ.com - seriously - your battery died? who packed your camera bag????

The Non-Dramatical Way to Get a New Phone

2008-04-02T19:55:00.012-04:00

OK, so I really believed that if one of us got an iPhone then the other would also have to get one or else the situation would result in DIVORCE. As a testament to our (nearly) seven year relationship, I am happy to report that one party is now the proud owner of a red Blackberry and the other is the proud owner of the coveted iPhone and we are still happily married! Here's how it went down...

After discovering that our cell phone contract was nearly up, we took a Family Trip to the AT&T store this past weekend. The iPhone was not a thought in either of our minds. Our intentions were as follows:

1. Look at multi-media phone options
2. Buy two multi media phones (preferably in red)
3. Leave the store very happy with our new phones
4. Immediately check our emails while walking to the market to get food for dinner

We finally decided on two pretty red Blackberry Curves. We asked Yvonne (the sort of mean sales associate who was helping us) what kind of incentive AT&T would offer to retain us as customers. Bottom line - nothing! Not one red cent more than any other schmo walking in off the street who was willing to sign a two-year contract! As anyone who knows me will confirm, that was clearly unacceptable! (FN1: Tutoring students: please note the proper use of the word 'clearly' in this personal essay. The improper use of 'clearly' would be in ANY of your upcoming final exams!!).

So, I called my mother (the cell phone guru) who directed me to dial 611 from my phone and ask for 'Customer Retention' (who knew that such a department even existed??). I called and spoke with a lovely woman who gave us a lovely credit on our bill and waived all Upgrading Fees as a gesture of appreciation. Now we were talking! We told Mean Yvonne the good news and she stuck her nose up in the air and said, "Really?" At that moment we "really" hoped that she wasn't making any commission off of us!

Mean Yvonne went into the back to get our new red Blackberry Curves and that was when we saw it....the iPhone. Specifically, the refurbished iPhone. It GLIMMERED! It SHIMMERED! It was GORGEOUS! We stood there, mouths agape, jaws ajar, tongues a-wagging. We saw the price: $199. Hm. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Yvonne returned with our red Blackberry Curves. "We changed our minds - we want refurbished iPhones!" She laughed at us! She actually LAUGHED at us! "So does everyone else in Manhattan. There aren't any left." "Are you sure?" "Yes." "Can you check another store?" "We already did earlier for someone else." "Can you please check in the back?" The eyes rolled and some unspoken retort crossed her lips, but she obliged and went to check in the back. We waited. And waited. Was she purposely punishing us???

Mean Yvonne reappeared from the back. At that moment, Mean Yvonne transformed into Yvonne, the Angel. "We were holding one for someone who was supposed to pick it up yesterday, but she never showed up so you can have it."

But I digress...how was this couple spared a divorce? Because MY angel said, "You can have it honey. You want it more than I do." I don't know whether or not that is true, but I do know that I love my man (and my new iPhone!!!)

Update: I now know why I got to keep the iPhone: http://themediadude.blogspot.com/

The Non-Dramatical Way to Name a Blog

2008-04-01T01:00:00.007-04:00

Harley: If I were to finally start a blog, what would I call it?

Andrew: Come on. Really? I just sat down to watch (insert Discovery Channel show)...I don't know...'It's a Musical Life'

Harley: Fabulous! (enters 'It's a Musical Life' into name search) Crap! It's taken. Any other suggestions?

Andrew: 'Mrs. Heller'

Harley: hahahahahaha! (enters 'Mrs. Heller' into name search) It's taken. Your mom has a blog??

Andrew (smiling, finally torn away from the Discovery Channel): How about 'Fiercely Dramatical'?

Harley: It's free!

Andrew: 'Fiercely Dramatical Musical Life'

Harley: It's free!

Andrew: 'Don't Be So Dramatical'

Harley: It's free! And, Ooooh! I love it!

A blog is born.

After several hours of searching for the perfect template.

(Scene)